


Miss Missing You

by ToxicElena



Category: Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz - Fandom, Peterick - Fandom, patrick stump - Fandom, patrick stump/pete wentz - Fandom
Genre: Asexual Patrick Stump, Asexuality, Demons, Love Triangles, M/M, Soul Punk Era Patrick Stump, Suicide Attempt, Supernatural activity, paranormal activity, self harm mention, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-11
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-08-21 21:43:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8261375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxicElena/pseuds/ToxicElena
Summary: Peterick and Patkey love triangle. **Trigger warning for suicide attempt and slight self harm





	1. It's Just A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> [All Rights Reserved] No copying, stealing, or editing my work. This is PROHIBITED.

Tour was finally over. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I've just been tired and just not feeling well in general. I was just tired of life. I couldn't stop staring at Patrick... he's just so beautiful, how could I not? He sat beside Andy, talking. Andy sat a bit close and I bit my lip. I didn't like it. I knew they didn't like each other that way, but I loved him. I just want to tell him how I feel...

I knew Patrick wasn't gay let alone bi, but I really wanted him... I wasn't straight either, but I wasn't gay. I'm only attracted to Patrick. He's just so beautiful and perfect and ugh... I just want to tell him how I feel... What's the worst that could happen?

_Me losing my best friend? Getting kicked out of the band? Losing everything that matters to me?_

I'll just keep it to myself... He doesn't need to know. He's better off not knowing, right? Right. When Andy left to the other room and I sat beside Patrick. He turned to me and smiled. "Hey Pete." he smiled. I smiled back.

"Hey Patty. Listen..." I looked away. _Pete shut up!_ Patrick was now frowning.

"Everything okay?" he looked at me with concern.

"Yea. Everything's perfect." I said after a silence, lying. Of course everything wasn't okay! I didn't like lying to Patrick, but he couldn't know...

"You sure?" he scooted closer. I nodded, feeling butterflies form in my stomach. "Okay. Good." he smiled again, hugging me. I froze. I forced myself to move and hug him back.

"You're a good friend, Patty." I rubbed his back.

"I don't know what that has to do with this, but thank you. So are you." I felt him nuzzle my shoulder right before pulling away.

Could he like me back..? No, he's not gay or bi even, and even if he was he wouldn't like me...

I looked away and noticed his cheeks tented pink in a blush. I wanted to tell him how cute he was...

Patrick flipped the tv on and I watched Doctor Who with him. He giggled at the Doctor who he loved. '"I'm ordering pizza now." I said grabbing the phone.

I ordered Patrick's favourite and sat back onto the couch beside him. We sat close and butterflies gathered in my stomach again. I tried to concentrate on the show but I couldn't with Patrick sitting so close...

By time the show ended the pizza arrived and all four of us ate. I sat beside Patrick, Andy on the other side of him and Joe beside Andy. I ate, looking to the tv. Some unknown show played and Patrick laughed with Andy and Joe. I loved his giggle. He's too cute.

After we all ate it was past ten and I was starting to get tired. Joe and Andy were making sleeping arrangements, there only being two bedrooms. "I could sleep with Pete and you could sleep with Pa-" I immediately interrupted Joe.

"No!! I-I mean... I can sleep with Patrick... I'm used to it... I'm not used to sleeping with Joe."

"Um. Okay, sure. That works I guess." Joe spoke awkwardly. I nodded before hurriedly leaving to the bedroom. I sat on the bed, putting my head in my hands.

"Pete?" My head shot up to see Patrick and I tried to smile.

"Hey Patty.." I replied awkwardly.

"Hey, you doing okay?" He padded closer and sat beside me, sitting close.

"Y-yea I'm good.." I looked away.

"You sure? You seem off." He looked at me with a curious and concerned face. I shook my head.

"I'm fine."

"Okay..."

We layed down and I pulled my knees close, facing away from Patrick.

_I wish we could cuddle..._

Patrick turned out the lights and layed back down, glancing at me. He layed close, our backs inches apart. He pulled the blankets up and curled up, hugging his knees.

As I began to fall asleep I heard small noises that sound like crying... "P-Patrick..?" I turned over to see him wiping at his eyes. "Hey, no." I pulled him close by an arm around his waist, his back against my chest. "Are you crying?" I asked softly.

Patrick shook his head and I frowned. "You were. Why? Are you okay?" I asked gently.

"M-m fine..." He whimpered.

"No you're not. Talk to me." I stroked his hair. I wanted to hold him and kiss him...

"J-just... I-it doesn't matter..."

"It matters to me." I rested my head onto his.

"It really doesn't... It's stupid." He curled up tighter and I just realized my arm was still around his waist. But he hasn't said anything, so...

"It does. Please talk to me. It's okay, I'm here for you." I smiled at him though he wouldn't see.

"Just... S-somebody I like... It's stupid..." He mumbled, his face flushing. I bit my lip.

"Oh..." I felt a bit hurt, knowing it wasn't me. I would give him advice but I didn't want to give advice to get with somebody...

"Told you..." He murmured.

"No.. It's okay... I can help.." I felt my eyes tear up, knowing I could cry since he wouldn't see.

"You don't have to.."

"I want to." I lied. Of course I didn't... "You could... Talk to them more.. Get to know her more? Don't rush her into liking you and if-" he cut me off.

"I-its a guy..."

My eyes widened slightly. "Oh..." I looked down. "Anyways.. Soon confess but say that if he doesn't like you back you can still be friends..." I finished, tears running down my face at the thought of Patrick dating another guy... I loved him so much...

"Thanks, Pete." He turned to hug me and I bit my lip. Great.... "Pete - why are you crying?" He frowned. I shook my head, turning over to face away from him.

"N-night..." I murmured. I heard him whimper and I felt bad... I sobbed silently, slowly falling asleep.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**I'm going to try to update every other day, and try to get two chapters as well unless I get (Patrick) Stumped. <3 ~Elena**


	2. I Need More Dreams and Less Life

I began to wake, my vision blurry. I looked around a bit and once I became aware of my surroundings I realized Patrick wasn't beside me. I closed my eyes back, pouting. I just wanted to hold him close... 

Last night's events played over in my mind and I began to feel worse. He was going to possibly get with someone... it was probably Andy... they've been hanging out a lot for the past couple of weeks...

I felt my eyes burn with hot tears and I covered my face. I just wanted to cry and I felt myself about to break at any moment... My hands began to tremble and I choked on a sob, salty tears running down my face. I curled up on my side and cried, hiding my face. "Pete..?" I heard a voice but I didn't care. 

Patrick...

I heard him stepping closer before I felt a weight on my hips. Patrick was straddling my side, wiping the tears from my face. "Pete? What's wrong?" he leaned down to rest his head on my shoulder. I only sobbed silently, keeping my face hidden. "P-please..." 

He whimpered and all I wanted was to hold him close and tell him everything was okay... These thoughts made me cry harder and Patrick nuzzles my shoulder. "Please Pete... Please..." He moved his hand to hesitantly grab my wrist. I moved my hand to grab his. "Please talk to me..." 

"I-it doesn't matter..." I mumbled, wiping my eyes.

"It matters to me Pete!" he raised his voice which was broken. I looked up, his beautiful eyes filled with tears. 

"P-Patty... don't cry..." I reached up to cup his face before removing it. I felt more tears forming and Patrick frowned more. 

"What's wrong?" he asked softly. I looked away and shook my head. He sighed, resting his head down onto my shoulder. I felt his thumb in my hair, his fingers running through it. I let him. It felt nice... My eyes closed and I noticed I had stopped crying. "Are you okay now?" he asked softly. I nodded. "Good." I felt him smile. 

I yawned and I realized that all the crying had made me tired. "Sleep Pete." I heard him speak softly. I nodded. "Do.. do you want me to stay here 'til you fall asleep?" I nodded. He nodded too against my shoulder and I felt my eyes close and I soon lost all perspective of what was going on around me.

~

I slowly woke, first thing I notice being Patrick not on top of me. I looked around rubbing at my eye sleepily. I wasn't ready to wake up... I was having too good of a dream... Why couldn't it be real life... I wanted to cry more but I sat up, hearing loud voices. I stood, heading to the living room. What I saw made my heart break... 

In the center of the room stood Patrick hugging Joe tightly. "I'm so happy! I thought it wouldn't ever happen!" Patrick cried. I felt hot tears behind my eyes and I stared. "Pete! You're awake! I have to tell you something!" he smiled big, releasing Joe to run over to me. I looked away, tears running down my face. "Pete, I- are you okay?" he frowned big and I looked up. 

"F-fine... I-I'm perfectly fine... I-I have to go..." I pushed past the love of my life to the front door. 

"P-Pete..." I heard his broken voice calling out to me. 

I began to run, running down the street. I didn't know where to go so I just ran to the hotel, renting a room. I locked myself in there, not wanting to see anyone, anything, or the light of day again... 

★★★

I slowly woke up to a dark room. I looked around, noticing it looked like a hotel room and I remembered what had happened... I didn't want to live... I loved Patrick too much... but him and Joe... I never expected it... 

I found myself crying once more and I buried my face in the pillow. I sobbed my eyes out. I didn't want to be here... I wanted to be with Patrick... I need Patrick... I stood and stopped myself from going to the door. I gripped my hair in stress, tears of frustration running down my face. I turned to the window, closing my eyes tightly in deep thought. 

I stood on the windowsill, looking down to the paved walkway below. I closed my eyes tightly, the wind blowing hard from up so high. It messed my hair up but that wouldn't matter... "I love you Patty..." I mumbled, stepping off. Wind made my hair fly and my body flipped to where I was on my back. As if it was all in slow motion. I closed my eyes, waiting for a cracking pain. 

"Pete!" My name rang in my ears before I crashed to the ground hard and my world went black.


	3. I Hate This Part...

A faint beeping filled my ears. The room was chilly but not cold.. My eyes began to flutter and a white light blinded me. I closed them back in a wince and just listened in on the hushed voices. 

_Was I dead... Could this be Heaven..?_

I wanted to look around but I couldn't. I felt hands on me but I couldn't move. My foot was hot and I was unable to move it individually without it hurting. "He's conscious." I heard a deep voice. My back hurt too and I felt a mask being placed over my mouth and nose. It became easier to breathe and I soon began to realize this wasn't heaven and I wasn't dead.

I was in the hospital.

I wanted to look around but it was too bright. I heard a small voice speak my name and I felt like crying...

_Patrick_....

The love of my life was right in this room and I couldn't breathe. My breaths sped up and I began to struggle. I felt my heart pounding in my chest and the beeps sounding to my right increased with the harsh thumps. I wanted to leave... I didn't like this... "You." the deep voice spoke again and after a few seconds I felt hands in my hair. I immediately calmed. 

"Shhhh Pete... i-it's okay..." Patrick's voice rang in my ear and I calmed but felt tears. Breathing hurt my back a lot and I whimpered. "Shhh..." Patrick raked his fingers gently through my hair and I trembled. All I wanted was him... to hold him forever and tell him that I loved him... hear him say that he loved me...

I was crying and it hurt. "Please don't cry. You're going to be in a lot of pain. You need to breathe easily." the deep voice spoke, most likely the doctor. I tried to stop and Patrick kneeled down, resting his head close to mine. 

"Shhh," he cooed. "P-Pete you broke your leg and got your spine out of place... W-what were you thinking..?" he began to cry. I wanted to pull him close and hold him forever... 

I had finally opened my eyes and I stared up at the ceiling. I froze when he grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in mine. I blinked, glancing at him. We really needed to talk, but I couldn't due to this mask. 

He gripped my hand as if it gave him life and I wanted to squeeze it back. It was most likely a friendly hand hold... yea. Because we're just friends... With him holding my hand like this, I wanted to tell him how I felt so badly... but I was too scared... 

I breathed easily now and Patrick stood, grabbing and wetting a paper towel to wipe at my tear-stained face. I closed my eyes, enjoying his gentle touch. I opened my eyes back when he pulled it away, holding my face carefully as he dried my cheeks with his hoodie sleeve. 

When he finished he held them, making sweater paws. I smiled at his sweater paws, but I frowned at why he made them. I wanted to cry... it was all my fault... Patrick was hurt and it was all my fault...

My eyes teared up again and Patrick frowned. "N-no, don't cry. It's okay..." he kneeled back down and rested his head back beside mine. I shook my head. I needed to speak. "Just breathe," he cooed, grabbing my hand again, holding it like he did approximately five minutes ago. 

Once my breathing had evened out for awhile, the mask was removed. "P-Patty..?" I called, my voice raspy. 

"Pete," he nuzzled into my neck and I bit my lip. 

"W-why..?" I swallowed. 

"W-why what?" I heard the shame in his voice and he curled in on me and himself. 

"Your wrists..." I murmured. He gripped his sleeves tighter. 

"I-it doesn't m-"

"Don't you dare... it does matter." I told him firmly. 

"B-because you just left... I couldn't stand the house without you..."

"And I couldn't stand being there with you and Joe dating." I replied back immediately. He sat up and looked at me. 

"What..?" 

"You know what!" I raised my voice in hurt and Patrick flinched. 

"Pete I'm not dating Joe." he cringed before beginning to giggle. "You _seriously_ thought I liked him that way? Eww!" he cringed and giggled before curling back into me. I felt my face flush in embarrassment and I looked away. "Pete. You jumped off a building, broke your leg and puncturing your spine because you thought me and Joe," he cringed again. "Wait..." he suddenly paused. 

"Well..." I sighed, closing my eyes. 

"Pete..." he stood, leaving the room. I watched him leave and I began to feel hurt... it wasn't Joe, but not me either... I felt my eyes tear up once again, the hot salty drops rolling down my cheeks. I began to sob, and it hurt a lot. I sobbed harder and my heart beat sped up, as well as the beeps. Why couldn't have the fall killed me...

The doctor rushed back in along with a nurse, placing the mask back over my mouth and nose. "Shh," the nurse cooed. I couldn't... 

_I couldn't..._

I sobbed hard, unable to stop.. The pain was a lot, almost unbearable. It _was_ unbearable... I trembled and I felt a growing pain in my chest. The beeps slowed, and I gasped, my eyes shooting wide before my world faded to black.


	4. A Little Less Sixteen Candles

It felt like forever. I saw a bright light that wasn't the hospital... I had died briefly, but I was brought back. I kept my eyes closed and concentrated on breathing. Not the hands in my hair. Not his relieved pants. Nothing but breathing... 

I felt Patrick's cold nose on my neck and I shivered, hearing his breathy giggle afterwards. "You're not dying on me... ever." he told me firmly. I only breathed, my heart skipping a beat when his lips pressed to my neck. I bit my lip. 

"P-Pat... Patrick... w-what are you doing...?" I asked curiously. He shook his head and pulled away. 

"Nothing..." he curled back into me. 

"Okay..." I looked away and he close his eyes. 

"I'm tired..." I heard him mumble and I smiled. 

"Then sleep." I replied. He was about to say something before his face fell to the emotion of sadness and he stood, going over to the couch on the side of the room. I bit my lip, watching as he slept. He immediately fell asleep and I stared. He was so beautiful... 

I soon began to feel tired, watching him sleep. I wanted to lay on my side though... I closed my eyes, sadly unable to sleep in the position I wished. I felt my eyelids become heavy with exhaustion and I closed them, needing the rest. I soon began to fall, falling into a restless sleep. 

~

I slowly woke to.. not the unwelcoming pain. I hummed, comfortable for once ever since I've gotten here. I looked over to the couch where Patrick layed before I fell asleep, not seeing him there. I also began to realize the mask over my face. I wanted to call out to Patrick but I couldn't...

"Oh, he's awake!" I looked over to the door to see the doctor. He entered, following behind him were Andy, Joe and Patrick. 

"You!" Joe yelled angrily. "What the f*ck were you thinking?!" he came over to me but the doctor stopped him in his tracks. 

"He shouldn't be bothered. He will be allowed to leave in a few minutes though, so be patient." he told him. Joe glared at me and I looked away. He was mad... he probably hated me... I hated me too so I didn't blame him... "Wow. He tries to tell you our album hits number one on the charts and you try to f*cking kill yourself?" he shook his head in disappointment before he left the room. 

The album... it... it wasn't even personally about Patrick... "Don't take it personally, Pete." Andy stepped up. I just stared at the ceiling, hot tears pouring down my face. 

"No..." Patrick walked over to me and wiped the tears away with his sleeve. But more only came. I began to sob, trembling. My back hurt when I cried, better than 24/7 though... I cried and Patrick leaned down, laying over me in a hug. 

Patrick wrapped his arm around my stomach and had his other on my shoulder. "It's okay... I'm okay." he assured, smiling. It was a real smile, too. I could only smile back. "There's that smile I love." he smiled more before hugging me tighter, careful to not hurt me. I shakily raised my hand to stroke his hair and he smiled. 

Patrick buried his face into my chest and I smiled. I wanted him badly... I rubbed down his back, moving my hand so it was on his waist. He smiled, his eyes closed. "I lo-" he stopped himself, shooting up to stand and back away. "I love food! That's right! I'm hungry..!" he ran out of the room, face red. 

I chuckled and looked down. 

'Could he actually like me..? No... he may not be straight but he's definitely not into me...'   

I waited for Patrick to return, but he never. It was soon a half hour.. an hour.. two hours... I began to think he wasn't coming back. I stared blankly at the wall for I don't know how long and I soon heard the door open. "Okay, Mr. Wentz. You're good to go." the nurse entered and smiled. Andy stood there too, Joe behind him. 

Joe still glared at me... I sighed, looking away. "Just say you hate me.." I murmured. He didn't say anything and I sighed. Patrick entered and smiled before quickly looking away. I bit my lip, questioning Patrick even more. Andy came over and helped me up, helping me walk as well. I wanted to pull away, to walk on my own, or to at least be closer to Patrick...

Patrick kept his distance, not making any eye contact with me. We're definitely having a little talk when we get home. My back hurt a little but not a whole lot, thankfully. All the pain went to my foot and I leaned into Andy, limping. He had his arm awkwardly around my waist (and I didn't like it...)

I was led to the car and I climbed in the back with Patrick. Andy drove and Joe glared out the window. Andy drove us home and I stared out the window. Patrick looked a bit paler than usual and I bit my lip. I hope he isn't sick...

We arrived to the house and I hummed, watching Andy get out. He came over and helped me out, closing the door behind me. I watched Patrick go inside, Joe already went in a long time ago.

I limped to my room, curling up on my bed. Finally, I could lay on my side. Tears ran down my face and I began to sob. I jumped when my casted foot was lifted up and placed onto a pillow gently. "P-Pete..." I saw Patrick and I wiped at my eyes. "Pete... c-can we talk..?" he looked down. I nodded. 

Patrick moved closer, sitting on the bed in front of my chest. "Pete... I-I should tell you something..." he looked away. I nodded. 

"What is it, Patty?" I asked gently. 

"W-well... I-I..." he flushed and I looked away, rolling so I could lay on my back and sit up a bit. 

"Just tell me..." I reached for his hand but I stopped myself. Patrick grabbed my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. 

"I... a-actually have two things to share..." he bit his lip. Curious, I nodded. "I-I love you Pete. More than a friend. And... I think I'm asexual." 


	5. Alone Together

"Y-you're..." I didn't know how to respond. Tears gathered in his eyes and I pulled him close.

"I-I don't like my new self..." he began to sob and I rubbed his back.

"Shhh... why?" I asked gently, curious.

"Because..."

"Shhh... babe it's not a bad thing." I told him, trying out that name and looking to him. He looked up before quickly looking away, blushing. He rested his head down onto my chest and I stroked his hair and he smiled. I smiled back at him and he blushed. I giggled.

"I'm not mad either?" I still didn't know how to respond.

"No... i-it's not normal..." he looked away. I pulled him close.

"It is to me. There's nothing wrong with not wanting that. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin and wanting to stay one. I promise." I kissed his forehead. He blushed and nodded. "Good."

It felt nice to hold him close and to kiss him. Even if it was just on the forehead for now. I still loved it. I sat onto the couch and he sat beside me, curling into me. I held him close, rubbing his arm. "It's going to be okay. I'll always love you, no matter what you prefer." I smiled and he smiled back. I wanted to kiss him so badly...

I leaned in close and he smiled. I kissed his lips gently, waiting him to kiss back. He did and I smiled into the kiss. I tilted my head and deepened the kiss, smiling as he pulled away. "I love you so much," I kissed his forehead.

"I love you too," he smiled big. I was so glad to be able to openly admit it, and I think he was too.

~

I loved concerts, I was just too tired. I could barely get the cords right, Joe's yells making it more difficult. "Joe, stop yelling at him!" Patrick told him, defending me. I knew he hated me, which didn't make me feel any better.. I sat on the sofa, looking down. "Pete..?" I looked up to Patrick. I tried to smile but couldn't.

Patrick sat beside me and I looked back to the floor. "He hates me... he probably wants me dead..."

"Pete, no! Don't say that!" Patrick hugged me tightly. "He's only upset." I held his sides and he smiled. "He'll get over it. Don't think of doing something permanent over something that's only temporary." he hugged me tighter. I nodded slightly.

"We're on!" Andy called and Patrick stood, helping me up.

"You need to be careful Pete." he told me, gesturing to my foot. I nodded. He smiled and grabbed my hand, leading me to the stage. He released it just before we would be seen and I stood at the side of the stage where I usually am always. I listened to Patrick start singing and my heart melted. He was so amazing.

I played and moved at bit, staring down at my bass. I didn't want to look up. I grabbed the microphone though when the song ended, speaking. "This song, is about how punk rock will never leave you alone, you can always turn to it no matter what. It's called Alone Together." We played the song and I saw Patrick innocently glance at me. I nearly died.

I finally decided to glance up at the roaring crowd of fans, the ones closer to the stage reaching out to me. I wanted to reach back, to grab their hands. I wanted to let them know that they were never alone. I'm pretty sure Patrick proved the point with the song, but yea. I limped closer to the stage and they reached out further.

I smiled. They were amazing, I loved all of them. I was thankful to have so many people look up to me, then at the same time it's scary. I carefully stuck my casted foot out into the sea of fans, biting my lip as I watched them stroke it. I couldn't feel it but I watched, all while playing the cords. I saw tears in their eyes and it broke my heart. One thing I always loved about my fans is that they cared so much.

~

I collapsed onto the sofa back stage, sighing. "What the f*ck was that, Pete?" Joe stormed in and yelled.

"They care. Unlike some people." I returned his glare and Patrick stood in front of Joe.

"Stop. Before you do something you'll regret." he warned.

"I don't regret anything." Joe growled before leaving. Patrick sighed and turned to me. I wiped at my eyes.

"No, please don't cry..." he begged, kneeling down to me. I looked away.

"He'd be happier if the fall would have killed me..." I mumbled.

"No!" he gripped me. "Ignore Joe. Forget him! I care, the fans care. If Joe doesn't care then fluff him!" I smiled and he smiled back. "Yayy! Don't be sad. Now come on, we have fans to meet." he smiled and helped me up. He led me out of the room to where all the fans waited.

I smiled and they all began to scream. I stood near the security guard and a little far back, watching Patrick sign things for fans and hug them. I smiled. A girl eyed me and I smiled at her, limping over to her. "Hello there," I smiled. She panicked and I giggled.

"H-hey..." she mumbled. I smiled.

"Got anything you'd like me to sign?" I smiled. She nodded and handed me a poster. I signed the poster above my head and gave her a hug afterwards. "Stay safe." I nodded and she nodded back. I watched as Patrick, Andy and Joe signed the poster above their heads and I watched as she ran off.

Patrick came over to me once the signings were over and he led me out of the room to behind the tour bus. "You okay Patty?" I asked, a bit concerned. He nodded and hugged me tightly.

"J-just... I don't want anybody to commit suicide... like... a-any of our fans..." he trembled. I held him.

"Aww... Patty... what brought this up?" I asked rubbing his back.

"A-a girl whose poster I signed... h-her wrists..." I frowned. Oh...

"I know Patty... that'll happen..." I cooed.

"I-I don't want anyone to do that because they can't meet us or anything..." I wiped away the tears in his eyes. I held him close.

"I know..." I gently kissed his lips and he kissed back. "I love you." I rubbed his back, He smiled.

"I love you too." he rested his forehead onto mine and I kissed him again. He kissed back and I tilted my head to deepen it. I loved kissing Patrick. It was the greatest thing I had ever felt. I love him so much.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

**I try to give fast updates anytime I can, which I have 7 chapters already written out, so be happy ^-^**

**~Elena**


	6. Drown (in my love for you)

**Slight nsfw?**

I kissed Patrick's lips, pushing him down onto the bed and crawling on top. It was hotel night, thank God, I didn't think my back could take much more of those uncomfortable bus bunk beds. I sucked on Patrick's lower lip, asking for entrance. He parted his lips and I slipped my tongue into his mouth. We made out and I slipped my hand underneath him to his back, holding him close. 

I ran my opposite hand through Patrick's hair, deepening the kiss when his wrapped around my neck. I rubbed his back, breaking the kiss to plant a trail of kisses down his neck. I took my time, kissing every inch of his skin carefully. I kissed further down his  neck to just below his collarbone and sucked on that one spot, leaving my mark. His shirt would cover it. 

I listened to his quiet, beautiful moans, encouraging me to continue. I slid my hands up his shirt, sitting up and watching as he lifted his arms up so I could pull it off. He was beautiful. "Patty..." I smiled. He hid himself and looked away. 

"I-I'm fat I know..." he mumbled. I kissed him and he kissed back. 

"No. You're not. Never say that about yourself." I cooed. He nodded. "Good boy." I kissed him again, gently removing his arms from his chest. I looked over him, smiling at his chubby tummy. All I wanted now was to give it unlimited amounts of kisses. And that's what I did. 

I kissed down Patrick's chest, sucking softly in some spots. Patrick was quiet above me, watching me. I kissed down to his tummy, kissing him all over. I watched him grip the blankets as I did. I began to kiss down to his pantline and his breaths increased. "P-Pete- stop.." he whimpered. I planted a single kiss right there and crawled back up his body. 

"Okay," I smiled and kissed his lips. He kissed me back and I smiled into the kiss. "I'm sorry baby." I layed beside him and looked down. He curled into me and I stroked his hair. "I love you.." I spoke softly. He smiled. 

"I love you too." he nuzzled into my shoulder and I smiled more. He sat up and pulled his shirt back on. 

"Okay but I'm taking mine off." I told him, pulling my shirt off. He stared and I smirked, laying back down. He curled back into me, nuzzling into my shoulder. He kissed my neck a little and I layed my head back on the pillow. I closed my eyes, feeling him kiss down my body, getting lower and lower. Once he was to my tattoo, he climbed back up and cuddled back into me. I couldn't get used to that... 

"Babe..." he looked up and I gave him a desperate look. 

"Yea?" he rested his head on my chest. 

"Don't be a tease..." I bit my lip. 

"What?" he looked at me confused. 

"You know what..." I eyed him. 

"Oh... no... you already know..." he hid his face. 

"Wait, what? You can't just suck me off?" I bit my lip. He shook his head. "Oh..." I sat up and stood. 

"P-Pete..?" I looked to him before leaving to the bathroom. 

~

When I got back to my room Patrick wasn't there. "Patty? Baby?" I looked around. Patrick was nowhere in sight and I frowned. I exited my room and went to the living room. "Patrick?" I questioned. 

"He's gone." I turned to see Joe. 

"What?" I looked down. 

"He thought you hated him." he said simply. I felt my heart drop and I felt sick.. 

"W-what? I-I'd never hate him!" I ran out the door. "Patrick!" I frantically looked around, panicking. I ran around the house, gasping when I saw him on the ground. "Patty!" I ran to him and kneeled down to him. "Patty..? A-are you okay?" I asked, carefully grabbing his hand. 

"M' f-fine..?" he replied in a mumble. I layed down beside him and I kissed his forehead. 

"Baby I'm not mad at you." I nuzzled his shoulder and pulled him close. "Please..." I begged. He curled into me. 

"B-but you just left... l-like you were mad..." he whimpered. 

"No babe. I'm not mad at you. I.. just needed to take care of myself..." I blushed a bit and his face reddened. I chuckled. "Sorry," 

"No, I'm sorry... Y-you want someone who you can actually love, d-don't you..?" he looked away. 

"No. I love you. Nothing will change that." I tilted his head up to meet my gaze and I kissed him. "There is nothing wrong with the way you are. I promise." I kissed him again. "I promise." I hugged him tightly. "You had me so worried though. I thought you were hurt.." I held him, pulling him into my lap. 

"C-can we go back inside..?" he asked. I nodded and stood, helping him up. I kept hold of his hand, leading him in to my room. "I love you Pete..." he mumbled. I turned, pulling him into my arms. 

"I love you too." I smiled and kissed his head. 

"A-are you sure..?" he looked down. I frowned. 

"What to do mean?" I asked gently. 

"A-are you sure it'll work out?" 

"Babe, of course it will. Why wouldn't it?" 

"B-because... a-aren't you upset that we won't be able to.. 'm-make love'..?" he rested his head on my chest. 

"No. Not at all." I stroked his hair. "As long as I have you in my arms as my boyfriend I don't care." He nodded softly. 

"A-am I..." 

"Patrick," I pulled back and gently kissed his lips, hand on the side of his face. "Will you.. b-be my boyfriend?" I asked, afraid of his answer. 

"Yes Pete. I will." he smiled. 


	7. Ode To Sleep

I held Patrick close, rubbing his back. He coughed more and I patted his back. "Shhh, Patty. Are you okay?" I asked gently. He shook his head before running to the bathroom and throwing up. I ran after him, kneeling down beside him and rubbing his back. He shook his head, throwing up again. "Baby..." 

Patrick whimpered, sitting up. I rubbed his back and he coughed and hurled. "I-I  just..." he wiped his mouth off. I frowned. 

"Just got a little sick?" I asked. He nodded. I pulled him close, holding him in my lap. "I'm sorry babe." I rubbed his back. He rested his head onto my chest and I smiled, stroking his hair. "I love you," I cooed into his ear. 

"I-I love you too, Pete." he smiled. I smiled back. I kissed him gently, feeling him kiss back. I smiled into the kiss, tilting my head to deepen it gently. Patrick pulled away slightly and I broke the kiss. 

"Are you okay?" I asked gently. He nodded, shifting a little on my lap. I bit my lip, looking down and watching Patrick trace my tattoo on my stomach. "Are you purposely trying to be a tease?" I asked. He stopped, not replying. I began to giggle. "You are! If you keep it up I'll just have to make you get me off." I smirked. 

Patrick cringed. "I love you, but that's so gross." he wrinkled his nose. I giggled and kissed his head. 

"You know I wouldn't force you into anything." I cooed. He nodded. 

"I-I feel so sick..." he held his stomach. 

"Baby do you need to go to the hospital?" I asked, holding his waist. He shook his head. 

"I-I'm just sick... I'm fine..." he mumbled. 

"Okay. But if it continues I'm taking you there." I stood up with him in my arms, carrying him to our room. I gently layed him onto the bed, laying down beside him. I pulled him close and he turned away. 

"D-don't wanna get you sick.." he murmured. 

"You won't. And we already kissed. So if I get sick it's my fault." I told him, nuzzling his neck. Patrick smiled slightly. 

"But I don't want you to be sick.." he closed his eyes. 

"Too bad." I kissed his forehead. He smiled, giggling. I loved him too much. Not too much. Just enough. 

~

I slowly woke up to feel Patrick next to me. He was still asleep and I noticed that he was shirtless. I rubbed my leg against his softly and my eyes went wide. He was naked... Wait, did we... No, I know he wouldn't let me. 

I didn't want to wake him, in case he'd freak out. I pulled him closer, nuzzling into his neck. He stirred and I closed my eyes quickly. I pretended to be asleep, feeling him stir and whimper beside me. 

I felt him reach down, pulling on pajama pants. "D-don't look if you're awake..." I heard him mumble. I kept my eyes closed, respecting his privacy. I felt him lay back down and I pulled him close. I heard him giggle. "Okay, okay." he nuzzled into my shoulder. 

"P-Patty..? W-where'd you go..?" I asked gently. 

"I-I um... i-it's embarrassing..." he looked down. 

"Aw babe, tell me." I nuzzled his neck. 

"I-I... s-sometimes t-tend to get m-my p-pajama pants off i-in m-my sleep..." he hid his face. 

"Aw babe, it's okay. That actually happened to me a lot as a child." I told him, attempting to assure him that it was okay. He nodded slightly. I smiled, lifting his head and kissing him carefully. 

Patrick kissed back, closing his eyes. I tilted my head, holding him close. I rubbed his back, my eyes closing as well. I opened them though when he gently placed his hand to my chest, breaking the kiss. "C-can we watch a movie today? A-and cuddle?" he asked cutely. I nodded, smiling. 

"Of course baby." I kissed him again, Patrick breaking it again quickly, staring intently behind me, frozen. I froze as well, expecting the worst. I turned to see Joe in the doorway, eyes wide as could be. 

"What the h*ll?!?!?!?!" he screamed. 

I shot up, standing in front of Patrick. I was speechless. What was there to say? 

"So that's why you wanted to sleep with him!" he continued to scream at me. 

"What's your problem with me?!" I yelled. 

"What did you do?! Rape him?!" My eyes widened. 

"No!" I screamed. "I love him! And he loves me!" 

"Yeah right!" Joe yelled, fists clenched. 

"Why are you even mad at me? Hu?!" i screamed. "Because I nearly died?! You should be happy I'm alive, not mad at me for living!!" I screamed before shoving past him, attempting to run out the door. I heard Patrick calling for me, but I didn't stop. 

I ran into the woods, tears flying from my eyes. There was no reason for him to hate me... He should be glad I'm alive, like the rest of the world. Not hate me... I stopped when I came to a drop-off, grabbing onto a tree. 

I looked over the edge, biting my lip. Should I.... I was pretty sure I'm lost, I don't think I could get back even if I wanted to... I looked over the edge then down at my casted leg. I leaned over the edge, tight grip around the tree. 

Just as I was about to let go, a scream filled my ears. Before I could see what or who it was, I had let go, feeling myself fall. As if in slow motion, wind caught in my hair and I closed my eyes. Now Joe can be happy....


	8. Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw

My eyes shot open and I gasped for air. Beside me rested Patrick, sleeping peacefully. I panted, biting my lip in confusion. What....? "P-Patty...?" I asked carefully. He continued to sleep and I gently placed my hand onto his shoulder and he shivered. I watched him pull the blanket and turn onto his opposite side away from me. 

I frowned and shook him violently. "Patrick!" I shouted. He stirred, gasping wake. "Baby?" I asked gently. He broke into tears and I pulled him close. "Babe..?" I cooed. 

"P-Pete..." he cried. 

"Baby? What's wrong?" I asked gently, rubbing his arm. He shivered and batted at my hand and I frowned, feeling hurt. "B-babe... please... please..." I begged. 

Andy entered the room and rubbed Patrick's shoulder. "Shhhh, it's oka-" 

"Don't you even say it's okay!!!" Patrick screamed in hurt and I flinched. What's going on...? Where the fuck am I?! 

"Patrick?" I spoke softly to him. He only continued to cry and I felt hot tears form in my eyes. I jumped up and went to the mirror, looking in. I hoped this wasn't what I thought... 

I looked in and my reflection wasn't there. Fuck... I turned back around to Patrick, but I came face to face with a smokey shadow figure. I froze and gasped, backing away. "Pete," it spoke, it's faint voice raspy. 

"D-don't hurt me!" I begged, backing away. 

"I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to show you this." It turned, pointing to to scene before me with a long, sharp finger. Patrick cried, he was obviously hurting. Andy tried to comfort him, but nothing worked. 

"Wh-why..." My eyes teared up. 

"He loves you to death. He misses you. This is what will happen if you die." 

"I can't control that!" I cried. 

"You can for now. By not killing yourself. Forget about those who hate you and focus on the ones who love you." It turned back to me. I shook violently, staring at Patrick. He was too perfect to be in this mess... He doesn't deserve this... 

"Okay.. B-but aren't I already dead..?" I looked up. It made a small humming sound before the scene before me began to seemingly melt to black, and I was in the woods. 

I ran, before abruptly stopping. I panted, catching my breath. I just needed to cool off... I walked around the woods, taking in the calming silence. It was beautiful in these woods, I smiled at it.

I turned once I was calm, walking back to the apartment. I went back to Patrick, immediately pulling him into my arms. "Pete!! I thought you wouldn't come back!" He began to sob. 

"Shhh baby. I love you and I'm never leaving you." I cooed. He nodded. 

"I-I love you Pete," 

"I love you too Patty." I pulled back to grab his chin gently, tilting his head up to kiss him softly. He immediately kissed me back, pressing closer to me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and his went around my neck, pressing even closer to me. 

I tilted my head to deepen the kiss and Patrick closed his eyes. I closed mine too, my arms around his waist protectively. I pushed him against the wall, kissing him. I broke it to kiss down his neck. 

Patrick rested his head against the wall, hands in my hair. "Fuck Pete, I love you so much." He moaned softly. I kissed his spot softly, resting my head on his shoulder. 

"I love you too." I told him softly, holding his waist. I rubbed his sides, kissing at his neck. He giggled softly when I kissed a certain part, and I smiled. That must be where he was ticklish. 

"Th-that tickles!" He laughed. I giggled. 

"Yea?" I pressed my lips to the spot and blew, making him laugh. He tried to push me away but I grabbed his wrists, pinning them to the wall. "I don't think so." I smirked, kissing his neck more, being a bit rougher. 

Patrick moaned, his eyes closing back. I sucked on his sweet spot, slipping my knee between his thighs. Patrick froze and gasped. "P-Pete, stop stop!" He freaked out, trying to push me away. 

"Fuck, I'm sorry!" I pulled my knee away and he trembled. 

"I-it- it's okay..." He shivered. "Th-that felt weird.." He wrinkled his nose. 

"Good weird or bad weird?" I asked gently. He shrugged. "Would you... Would you want more..?" I asked carefully, not wanting to rush him or anything.

"Pete..." He bit his lip. 

"No no, don't worry." I kissed his forehead. "It's okay. I understand." I rested my head on his shoulder. He tilted his head back and bit his lip. 

"Y-you c-can continue..." He told me, running his fingers gently down my back. I turned my head, licking his neck. He shivered and I giggled. 

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable babe." I kissed his sweet spot, making him moan softly. 

"I-It's okay.." he closed his eyes, arms around my neck. I kissed and nibbled his neck, listening to his moans. I rubbed his sides, carefully making my way past his hip and into his back pocket. I squeezed his ass gently, making him gasp and moan my name. 

"Is that okay?" I asked softly. My eyes went wide when he gave a slight nod. I nodded, kissing his neck and groping his ass gently, listening to his moans. I sucked and nibbled on his spot, making him moan louder. I pressed my hips into his, making him gasp. 

"P-P-Pete... Y-your..." His face reddened and I bit my lip. 

"Oh.. Sorry." I turned and left to the bathroom. After doing what I needed, I wentz back to my room, looking down at Patrick on the floor. He hugged his knees tightly and he looked so small and vulnerable... 

"Patty baby?" I asked gently, sitting beside him. I pulled him closer, grabbing his hand. "You okay?" 

"P-Pete, I..." He bit his lip, curling into me. "I-I just feel like we're not close... I-I almost wish we could get intimate.." He looked away. 

"Aw baby, I know..." I pulled him closer. I bit my lip with an idea, but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable or drive him away... 

I leaned in to his neck, giving it kisses. He moaned softly and I bit gently, rubbing his thigh. He pushed my hand away, pulling his legs in closer to himself. I ignored his actions though, grabbing his thigh gently. "P-Pete, no..." He whimpered. 

"Shhh, it's okay." I cooed, moving my hand up a bit and rubbed his upper thigh. He whimpered, trying to get my hand away. "I promise." I told him softly, kissing him. He kissed back and I continued to move my hand up, slipping it in between his thighs. He gasped, tears in his eyes. 

I rubbed Patrick carefully, tilting my head and deepening the kiss. Patrick struggled and I kissed him harder. I continued to rub him, pushing my tongue into his mouth. 

I broke the kiss to kiss and suck at his neck, palming him through his tight skinny jeans. "Pete! Stop!" He cried. 

"You.. Really want me to stop?" I asked gently. He nodded, sobbing. I pulled my hand away and watched as Patrick curled up, sobbing. "A-are you okay..?" I asked softly. 

"N-no! I-I feel s-so nasty!" He cried. I pulled him closer and I rubbed his back. 

"No, shhh." I pulled him into my lap. "Shhhh shh you're okay. It's okay." I kissed his forehead. "I'm sorry... You're not a bad person for being touched there.. It's normal baby. Unless.. Unless you didn't want it..." I bit my lip. 

"N-no! I want to! I want to do things with you! But at the same time.. I don't. It disgusts me.." He looked down and wiped at his eyes. I kissed his tears away. 

"I understand..." I kissed him softly. "I understand. I love you." 

"I love you too..."


	9. Afterlife

I stretched. My back cracked and I heard giggles from other band members. I looked around, noticing the members from Panic! At The Disco, Josh and Tyler from TOP, as well as the members from My Chemical Romance. It was weird, it always seemed like they had a different drummer every time I see them.

Patrick is standing close to me, looking around as well. As if at the same time, both mine and Patrick's eyes land in the same spot, on the same person.

Mikey Way.

He was beautiful... I remember dating him, and it was pretty sweet. That was before me and Patrick were ever a thing. I knew almost everything about Mikey and his brother, and a lot of stories. We were so close. But we drifted a bit once our bands got bigger, as in fame, and we lost contact. We were always in a different place, and never had time to just chill.

Mikey looked over at us both and smiled big. He waved, running over. I smiled and so did Patrick. "Hi Pete! Hi Patty!" Mikey pulled both of us into a tight hug. I squeezed him tight and he giggled. Patrick hugged him as well and Mikey hugged Patrick. I felt jealousy and I looked away to keep from glaring at him.

Once they broke the hug, I grabbed Patrick's hand. "You two are... Oh... Awwwww!!" Mikey hugged both of us. "You two are so cuutee together!!" He exclaimed happily. I was not expecting that... 

"Thank you.." Patrick blushed. I chuckled and Mikey giggled. Gerard came over, grabbing Mikey's hand. 

"Come on, Mikes." he told him. 

"Okay, Gee." Mikey smiled at Patrick and left with his brother. I led Patrick into my dressing room and pressed him against the wall.

"Pete?" He asked curiously. I kissed him, rubbing his sides. He kissed me back and I tilted my head, sliding my hand into his back pocket. He moaned into the kiss and I pushed my tongue into his mouth.

Patrick moaned as I kissed him and groped his ass. He flipped us so I was pinned to the wall and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I wrapped one leg around his waist, pressing closer to him. He held my hips and I played with the hair.

"Patrick! Pete! Are you two done fucking yet? We're going out for food!!" I heard Joe. Patrick broke the kiss and shot a look of disgust towards the door. I pulled his face closer to kiss him and he kissed back.

"Baby we should go." I leaned in to his neck, biting softly. He nodded. 

"Nnng, o-okay Pete.." He replied, gripping my hair a bit. I mouthed at his neck, making him moan more. I smirked, pulling away.

"Well. Come on." I grabbed his hand, leading him out and to the main room.

"Finally!" Joe exclaimed before exiting the room, Andy following him. I led Patrick out to the tour bus and we climbed in the back. "Jeez I swear, you two can't give each other a break." Joe mumbled, starting the bus up.

Patrick wrinkled his nose up in disgust, and Joe noticed. "What's that look for?" He questioned.

"We weren't doing that." I rolled my eyes, pulling Patrick into my side.

"Yea." Andy laughed. Patrick looked down and I held his hand. He knew Andy was only joking. Joe's more literal...

We arrived to the restaurant and we all climbed out of the van. I held Patrick's hand as we walked inside and to our table. We sat beside each other, talking as we waited for the waiter/waitress.

Patrick grabbed my hand from underneath the table but I ignored it. I wasn't in the mood for affection... Not even hand holding... I rested my head on my palm and stared down at the table.

Patrick nudged me softly to get my attention, and I glanced over at him. "You okay?" He asked softly. I nodded slightly.

"Just tired I guess." I leaned back. The waitress came over and took our orders. I watched her leave to the next table, seeing Mikey sitting there with his brother. Oh...

I closed my eyes, yawning. I suddenly felt tired and I wanted to go home. Patrick rested his head on my shoulder and scooted closer to me. I wrapped my arm around his waist and he smiled. "I love you Pete," he smiled. 

"Love you too." I replied, a bit plainly. I just wanted to sleep. I noticed Mikey staring from across the room, but he wasn't staring at me... He stared at Patrick and I frowned. He looked away, biting his lip. 

I rubbed Patrick's side, pulling him closer into me. He smiled, closing his eyes. I glanced back at Mikey and he talked with his brother. Gerard looked attractive today, not that he wasn't any other day. 

I found myself staring and I saw Gerard nudge his brother. Mikey looked at me, and back to his brother. I listened in on their conversation. 

"He's not staring at me, Gee." Mikey told Gerard. 

"He was." Gerard replied. 

"But he's not." 

"But he was!"

I sighed, kissing Patrick's forehead. I wanted him... badly... not that I was ready at this moment, but I wanted him at some point in time. I just knew I wouldn't... I sighed. 

Our food finally got to our table and Andy and Joe began to eat. "I lost my appetite." I told them, standing and leaving the restaurant. I went out to our bus and sat in my bunk. It was uncomfortable at times, but it was okay I guess. 

I heard the door open and I sighed quietly. "Pete..?" I heard Patrick. 

"In here." I called out. I layed down and Patrick entered the room. 

"Are you okay, Pete?" he asked softly. 

"I'm fine." I replied. Patrick sat beside me and I scooted over so he could have more room. He layed down beside me and curled into me. 

"What's wrong?" he asked. 

"Nothing." I replied. He nodded slightly and looked down. I wrapped an arm lazily around him and he smiled. 

"I love you Pete. So much." he spoke softly, resting his head on my chest. 

"I love you too." I kissed his forehead. 

"Pete... you just seem so off..." he told me. I sighed. 

"Well I'm fine." I told him.

"Well you don't seem like it." 

"Well I am." I sat up. 

"P-Pete..." I heard his broken voice quietly. I turned to him, looking him over. I pulled him into my lap, resting my head on his shoulder. 

"I love you baby. I'm just... I want to make love to you at some point. But I can't." I stood and exited out the van. I heard footsteps and I glanced over my shoulder to see Patrick in the can doorway.

"P-please d-don't leave m-me..." He cried. My eyes collected tears hearing him sound so hurt... Especially knowing I'm the reason... I went to him, pulling him into my arms. "P-Pete... Take me..." He spoke, his voice quiet.

"Wh-what?" I asked confused.

"Make love to me Pete." He ordered, grabbing my hand and placing it on his hip.

"Aren't you asexual though..?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Yes, but do it if it will make you happy..." He rested his head on my shoulder.

"No. If you personally don't want it then I'm not doing it. It's practically rape.." I bit my lip.

"Not if I told you to do it." He argued.

"Patty..."

"Just get inside me!" He shouted. It was silent before he broke down into giggles. I laughed with him and hugged him.

"I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too Pete."


	10. Chapter 10 - How to be a heart breaker

**NSFW**

 

After we arrived home, I passed out onto the couch. After awaking, it was one in the morning and I was alone in the dim room. I sat up, rubbing at my eye. I couldn't recall anything that had happened before this, and I rubbed my head.

I stood, stumbling, and heading in the back to my room. I saw Patrick curled up, face stained with tears. I frowned, curling in behind him.

I snaked my arm around his waist carefully, pulling him in closer. He stirred a bit and I pressed my nose into his hair to calm him. I spooned with him, rubbing his tummy. He slept and I closed my eyes, wanting to fall asleep. I couldn't though.

I sighed, unable to sleep. I turned onto my back, flipping on the tv. I watched the show, holding in laughs. Patrick stirred at my side and I looked down to him. I rubbed his stomach softly, moving my hand down a bit to his lower abdomen.

He swatted at my hand, trying to get it away from there. I kissed his neck, rubbing back up his tummy. "Mmm... P-Pete..." He moaned softly. I smiled.

"Yes baby?" I replied, licking a stripe up his neck.

"Ngg... What are you doing to me so early..?" He asked, blushing. I hummed, smirking.

"Making you feel good baby." I kissed his neck more. "Love you,"

"Love you too," he moaned. I slipped my hand up his shirt, rubbing up his chest. He moaned, moving into me. I held him, rubbing his chest.

"I love you Patty," I told him, sucking on his neck. I bit him gently, sucking. He moaned louder and I smirked. "Good boy." I rubbed my hand down his stomach and to his thighs. He shifted uncomfortably and I smirked more.

I pulled my hand away, holding him close. "I love you." I kissed his lips.

"I love you too," he spoke against my lips. We made out and his eyes closed, as well as my own. I held his face and his arms wentz around my neck. I tilted my head to deeper and possibly make the session heat up, making him moan softly in his throat.

I kissed down his neck, kissing his spot. He moaned, laying his head back. I pulled away, pulling him closer. He nuzzled into my chest and I held him. "I love you Pete."

"I love you too Patty."

~

I sat in the living room, drinking. Mikey had taken Patrick shopping and I decided to get drunk. Gerard had stayed here with me, to keep me safe. I sighed, watching the unknown movie. "What even- even is this??" I threw the empty bottle towards the tv. 

"Don't do that," Gerard sighed, standing and grabbing the bottle I threw. I stood, going to him and kicking him in the ass. 

"Don't tell me what to do!" I went back to the couch, but not sitting, feeling a strike. "You- you spanked me!" I yelled and he glared. 

"Yea? So?" he sat beside me, grabbing the alcohol I was drinking. I sat on the couch in what I was sure was the wrong way to sit, and I sighed heavily. 

"You- you're in love with me!" I sighed heavily. 

"What?!" Gerard's eyes were wide. 

"You are!" I sat up, standing. Gerard stood too  though, grabbing me by the shoulders and smashing his lips to mine. My eyes went wide, and  he quickly broke it. "Told you." I growled, kissing him roughly. He pushed me down onto the couch, and I gripped his shirt. He ripped it off, along with pulling mine off. "What are you-" he kissed me once again and I tilted my head which deepened it. 

Gerard tugged at my belt once his pants were gone, and I broke the kiss, panting for air. "Fuck, I have wanted this so long." Gerard kissed me again, pushing my pants down enough to pull my semi- hard on out. I blushed, but was too drunk to give a shit. 

Gerard pulled his pants off, pulling his legs up as well. "F-fuck..." I rested my head on his chest, tears in my eyes. I would regret this... I pushed into Gerard, moaning. He pushed back into me, and I thrusted. 

"P-Pete?!" I jumped up, my eyes wide. Mikey and Patrick stood in the doorway, a look of horror and devastation on Patrick's face. 

"P-Pat..." I slurred out drunk. I pulled my pants up and followed him down the hall. 

"I thought you loved me!" he turned and screamed. 

"Well you thought right!" I grabbed him but he jerked away. 

"No! You think I don't know why you did this?!" he screamed. "You know how broke I am! That I can't do it with you!" 

"Pat..." my brows furrowed and Mikey looked confused. 

"No! You know why I'm like this?! I was raped Pete! You think I wouldn't want to get intimate with you?! I would!" he was frantic in tears. 

"P-Pat..." I choked out. 

"No!" he ran into our room, slamming the door crying. I trembled, feeling horrible. I slid down his bedroom door, my head in my hands. Gerard and Mikey had left, and I sobbed silently hearing Patrick's broken cries. I felt horrible... he deserves better... so so much better.... 


End file.
